Poems From The Toilet

I found these poems from an E-mail my friend sent me ... i just have to post them here !!!!

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Excellent poems by not so famous poets...
found on toilet doors and walls.......

THE 'FUTURE' IS IN YOUR HAND , HOLD IT GENTLY'



A budding poet trying his best...

Here I lie in stinky vapor,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.

Before he graduated to be a poet, he wrote this...

Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to shit
But only farted

Someone who had a different experience wrote,

You're lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
And shit my pants!

Perhaps it's true that people find inspiration in toilets,

I came here
To shit and stink,
But all I do
Is sit and think.

There are also people who come in for a different purpose...

Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to shit and stink,
But I come here to scratch my balls ,
And read the bullshit on the walls.....

Toilets walls also double as job advertisement space.......
(written high upon the wall)

If you can piss above this line, the Singapore Fire Department wants you.

Ministry of Environment advertisement.

We aim to please!
You aim too! Please

On the inside of a toilet door:

Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the entire performance.

And finally, this should teach some a lesson... Sign seen at a restaurant:

The hands that clean these toilets also make your food...please aim properly.

Found in my school toilet

Come one come all come and see my balls
One big one small hanging on the wall

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ENJOY !!!!

Love
Vanessa V.PooLover

Crazy Funny News Articles

OK ... this post is just about 2 articles about some news tittle given to my classmates and I that we were SUPPOSE to write for our teacher James 008 "Bond" ... but later on we notice that the two of our tittle can be related ... so we tried to ask the teacher to let us combine ... but to be the Party-Pooper he is ... he just had refuse our request ... *damn him* ... so ... we decided to write it into 2 parts ... like first part of the Story and the second part of the story .. so yeah ... So I'm gonna write the "Articles" here .. to share with ya all ... ain't I'm nice ?? OH !!! I'm gonna add in and change some of the content just to spice things up ... ENJOY!!! XD

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TEACHER TO MARRY STUDENT

7th July —Washington D.C.

Dany Kuilou (38), the well-known G@Y teacher from a centre somewhere in Washington D.C. planned to marry a student of his, Wen age 25 who is also known as the Princess of Thailand a month ago. They were found to be in Paris this morning 8:00a.m. attending their wedding ceremony. Both of their parents were shock due to the unnoticed secret marriage. They were furious and is on their way to fly to Paris this later 4:00p.m. today due to the fully booked of plane tickets which is also caused by the sudden out burst of the scandal. Everyone around the world is in tumor trying to fly to Paris to see the couple.

One of the close friend of Dany and the now Mrs. Wen Kuilou, Mr. Hiao who was there in their ceremony comment that wedding was best wedding he ever attended. He also give us some of the detail of the ceremony. "There have Beautiful round Watermelons, Long Snakes and all types of Balls !! The theme of the wedding fit them so well !!! It's the Best Damn Wedding i ever attend !!! I'm happy for them.",said Mr Hiao.

There also rumors about the Queen would declare war against France for allow this marriage to happened. The announcement haven't been confirm.

We, the editors and reporters from Monsters Press would like to wish this lovely and odd couple all the best and hope they will survive the next 24 hours when their parents arrive!

Reported by,
Devil

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OK ... that's the first part of the Crazy funny News Articles ... here comes the second part ... ==+ ... Muahahah !!!! ENJOY !!!

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PRINCESS HITS PHOTOGRAPHER

8th July —Paris

After the incident of the Teacher To Marry Student, another out burst has occur !!! The Princess had gone wild after a sudden crowd of photographers trying to take pictures of her and her newly webbed hubby when they're on their way out of the hotel.

The Princess of Thailand, now Mrs. Wen Kuilou (25) was shot hitting a photographer who this morning outside their hotel. The incident started when a photographer trying to take pictures of her and asking questions about yesterday's wedding. Unfortunately, the princess didn't answer him, but hit him instead. She started hitting him with her bag, then scratching him and pulling his hair. It seems that the Princess was not in a good mood when the photographers surround her and shooting questions at her.

The victimized photographer, Hong (27) complains to the press that he got bruises everywhere especially the face. There are also scratches on his cheeks and he lost some of his hair due to he pulling and scratching. His camera was broken into bits. The princess maybe sue for the violence assault.

Reported by,
Devil

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All the information above is not true. These articles are made just to have some good laughs among my classmates. ^^ There maybe some things you can't understand ... If you really want to know just think a little hard and dirtier ... then you'll catch the ball ... XD

That's all folks !!! Hope you guys enjoyed it ...

Love,
Vanessa V.PooLover